We all do crazy things – most especially under the influence of alcohol. It’s what keeps us alive, and keeps gatherings fun when we recount them to our friends. I admit, I’ve done quite a lot, but there’s one crazy thing that I’ll never forget – and hopefully I’ll never EVER do again! After you read this, I’m pretty sure you’ll never forget it, too.
The company that I used to work for was quite small. Back then, they didn’t have a messenger. Wait, I think they did but the management made him do so much errands, that I had to rely on courier service to have packages delivered to the people that I dealt with. One time, I had a project that involved home appliances. Since the items were too big, the courier service gave me a fat no and didn’t want to deliver them for me. So, I did what I had to do – deliver the appliances myself.
I thought to myself – sus, kering keri lang! The person that I needed to deliver the item to, Miss Fabulous (not her real name), lived near my house so I really won’t have a problem with dropping off the appliance. So on my way to Miss Fabulous’ house, I sent her a message asking if it’s okay to drop by at around 9:30pm. She was cool with it, and so I drove going to her house.
As soon as I arrived, I parked in front of their house, walked up to their gate, and gave her a call. She didn’t pick up. I gave her another call and a few messages, still no response.
After 30 minutes of trying to contact her, I was getting frustrated because it was getting a bit late. Plus, may mga manginginom na walang t-shirt sa tabi of her house. Ermahgerd.
I tried to look for the doorbell, but sadly it didn’t work. I was desperately looking for a way to get Miss Fabulous out of her house but then I don’t think I can. So, my genius brain thought..
KUNG SI MISS FABULOUS DI LUMALABAS NG BAHAY… AKO NA LANG PAPASOK.
And what’s the best way to get inside her house?
Jump over the gate. By the way, that’s the actual gate of her house.
I thought it was going to be easy since 1.) the gate isn’t that high and 2.) I’m quite flexible. So I went back to the car to get paper and pen, wrote a note, and prayed to the heavens that no one will see me jumping over the gate of Miss Fabulous.
I stepped on one of the bars on the gate, and made hakbang to the other side. Everything was going smoothly until I heard a dog bark. Shet, yung aso di nakakulong! Shet, lumalapit na siya sakin! I’m not afraid of dogs, but I was just worried that the dog might bite me since technically I was trespassing on his/her owner’s territory. While successfully crossing over the gate and panicking about the dog, the front door swung open and suddenly…
Miss Fabulous: TRIXIE!!!!!
Me: (in my head: SON OF A B- ! WHAT THE F- ! ANAK NG P- !) OMG SORRY HINDI MO KASI SINASAGOT YUNG PHONE MO TAPOS MAY MGA UMIINOM SA KANTO KAYA TINAWID KO NA GATE NIYO!!!!
Miss Fabulous: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: SORRY NAGTRESPASS AKO!!!!!
I handed the huge box to Miss Fabulous, made beso beso, and quickly went back to my car. I felt so humiliated, I wanted the concrete floor to swallow me whole. As in, Lord, bakit.
Up until this day, Miss Fabulous and I can’t forget my trespassing incident. Good thing she was very understanding, and didn’t doubt my reason why I crossed over their gate.
I will never ever climb up someone else’s gate. I will write this on pad paper, 100 times.
So… the story about Anne Curtis’ panic buying/slap fest is spreading like wild fire. I’m sure you all know the story – all versions of it. If you haven’t been briefed yet, please read up first before proceeding with this article.
You can read the stories here:
PEP EXCLUSIVE Anne Curtis survives embarrassing night out with friends; says sorry and is forgiven, all on the same day
John Lloyd’s Inappropriate Behavior Triggered Anne Curtis’ Outburst At Privé
Now, you get the drift.
I’ve read a lot of comments about the said incident. Some were sympathetic to Anne. Some expressed their rage (rage talaga?). Some people just made fun of it – and yes, I am part of that slice of the pie. So while the issue is still on the table, let’s analyze what went wrong, who deserves the blame, and who earns the pity hug. Let’s do it via the point system! One point on whoever did the right thing per incident/scene. Winner gets the netizens’ approval.
(Important Note: Please bear in mind that all situations mentioned are just based on the articles linked above.)
1. GATE CRASHERS.
Since Anne reserved a portion of the club for her friend’s bachelorette party, she gets rights to the bar (it’s included in the package, right?). JLC et. al. kept on crossing over to their party space and allegedly kept on getting drinks as well, so maybe that’s the start of Anne’s tipping point. If Anne invited them over to share the drinks and join the party, that would be fine. But according to the press release, no invite was given. JLC and Co. just kept on getting drinks from Anne’s open bar. Obviously, the girl has kuripot issues. She doesn’t want to share them Then again, she’s paying for all the bottles. She decides who she wants to share the alcohol with.
Ms. Curtis = 1 ; JLC and friends = 0
2. SLAPPY CAKES.
We always prank people, especially if they are our friends. It’s always funny, until you bang the cubicle door where your friend is, and she gets upset. In a Man vs. Wild way. Now this is where the root of all evil is. Banging someone’s bathroom stall door is ok, really. But the thing is, you don’t know what’s happening at the other side of the door. The person inside might be experiencing some nasty bowel movement, or something you really don’t want to know. Sige nga, kung ikaw ba taeng tae ka na tapos biglang may kumalampag ng pintuan mo. Hindi ka ba maiinis? Magagalit? Magwawala?
Getting pissed off by the door-banging thing is fine. It’s understandable. But to slap not one, not two, but three people because of that? That girl is into some wild sh*t. Worse, she slapped the wrong people. Double check din ng sasampalin, pag may time.
Ms. Curtis = 1 ; JLC and friends = 1
3. PANIC BUYING.
Now, this is the tie-breaker.
Just as you thought slapping three people is hardcore, Anne steps up her anger games, calls JLC an addict (Why didn’t anyone react to this? Lol), and tells Phoemela Baranda these exact words…
“I CAN BUY YOU, YOUR FRIENDS, AND THIS CLUB.”
That girl is on fire! She’s on a shopping spree! Ikaw ba naman, kalampagin ka sa banyo, eh mapipilitan ka talagang mamili ng mga tao!
I commend this girl for having so much liquid confidence, that she can buy Phoem, all of her friends (I think JLC is quite expensive, but Anne can afford him anyway), plus Privé Luxury Club. I haven’t seen Anne’s financial statements. But seeing all of her endorsements, she definitely can afford the club. And maybe some of Phoem’s friends.
Kidding aside.. Come on, guys. People get drunk. People say and do weird things when they’re drunk. Anne Curtis gets drunk, too! Give the girl a break. She’s human. Although malas lang niya, she’s under the limelight. I’ve done horrible (but mostly funny) things when I was drunk. Heck, I’ve seen my friends do stuff that are appallingly shocking, yet it’s not a big deal for me.
Ms. Curtis = 1.5 (0.5 for her purchasing power) ; JLC and friends = 1.5 (0.5 for keeping it cool)
Okay, I’m calling it a tie. I personally think that this is just another story about someone who got drunk – it was just blown out of proportion by the media. I really think it’s hilarious – getting drunk and trying to buy people and whatnot. Well, except the slapping part. That was uncalled for. Ms. Curtis apologized, the other party accepted it, forgave her, and I guess everything is back to normal.
In fairness talaga to Anne Curtis, she made a story worth talking about. You know, no great story starts with ‘Remember the time when I was eating a salad…’. Most of the notable ones start with ‘Remember the time when he/she got drunk…’.
Weaving Information for Leaders of the Digital world
This year, we are taking you to the Information Jungle. With the surge of social media, and other online platforms, we want to help you make sense of the digital world. Key speakers will be discussing social media know-how and digital marketing and advertising trends. Blogopolis 2013 is a day-long event starting with plenary sessions in the afternoon, and a post-conference party at night where key influencers in the industry will be awarded. This event is open to everyone – bloggers, social media influencers, students, digital marketing officers, and advertisers, and anyone who is interested in the world of digital, particularly social media.
Here’s a list of speakers who will be sharing relevant digital marketing and social media insights:
- Abe Olandres for The Cycle of Ads: How to Make Social Media Advertising Effective
- Aisa Ipac, Ana Gonzales for Taking your Readers Offline: Successful Ways to Mount a Blog Event
- Christine Dychiao for Blog Fund: 10 Ways to Guide Back Traffic to Your Blog Using Social Media
- Googly Gooeys (Tippy & Pong Go) for The Media Kit: Creating a Compelling Blog and Social Media Proposal
- Jeff Lo for Blog Thy Neighbor
- Jim Paredes for The New Nation 2.0
- Josh Villanueva for Youtube: The Next Frontier
- Lori Baltazar for Podcasting 2.0: The Podcast is Alive
- Chuckie and Yen Dreyfus for The Ultimate Selfie: How to Manage your Social Media Accounts
- Aris Olea (Creator of ConjuRain), Macky Lopez (Gwiyomi “Nasaan na si Mikay?”), Claire Custodio (National University, Cheerquadron) for Going Viral
Nuffnang will also hold its first Nuffie Awards to recognize the contributions of selected online influencers. To vote, you may visit this link: http://bit.ly/NuffieAwards2013
Blogopolis 2013 is co-presented by Blink
Our Major Sponsors: Sun Broadband, LG Electronics
Media Partners: Adobo Magazine
Official Timekeeper: Timex
Special thanks to: Print Social
For Blogopolis updates, visit Nuffnang’s Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts.
Or visit the official website: http://www.blogopolis.ph
I read from a local blog that we can now have a taste of the famous Hogsmeade Butterbeer from Harry Potter here in the world of Muggles. Yay! Thanks to Starbucks, we can now chug butterbeer as we flip through Harry Potter books and patiently wait for our Hogwarts letter to arrive. They don’t legit-ly call it the Butterbeer, though. But the famous coffee place can make the sweet concoction for you, pronto.
If you want to get a good cup of butterbeer here in the PH, just do these simple steps:
1. Go to the nearest Starbucks store.
2. Order your butterbeer by giving this recipe to your barista:
One Creme Frappucino base (whole milk), with 2 pumps Caramel syrup, 2 pumps Toffee Nut syrup, and caramel drizzle
Tall – 2 pumps
Grande – 3 pumps
Venti – 4 pumps
3. Pay for your butterbeer. (A tall sized-drink costs Php 170)
4. Get your butterbeer, sip, and enjoy.
I ordered a tall butterbeer from Starbucks, and this is how my drink looked like:
It actually tastes interesting! It’s a tad bit sweet for my taste, though. But overall, it’s a good drink. It resembles the flavor of the locally available Peter’s Butterball candy.
Drink up, Harry Potter fans!
Gone are the days wherein people have to develop the photos they took from manual cameras just to see how they look like. Now, it’s all digital – you can see the photos you took a few seconds after taking them. While all the advanced gadgets give us the privilege of previewing our photos in a snap, don’t you miss having your photos printed and collating them in albums? Minus the long wait at the photo developing store, though. Good thing LG found a way to for people to have their photos printed in an easy and comfortable way – with the help of your own digital phone!
Sharing and printing your photos has never been this easy with the LG Pocket Photo Printer. The LG Pocket Photo Printer is a smart mobile printer that delivers high quality photo prints via wireless printing.
Designed with a debossed heart pattern, the LG Pocket Photo only weighs 215 grams with a measurement of 72 x 120 x 24 mm. Imagine it’s as big as an iPhone 4s, and as thick as two iPhone 4s units piled on top of each other. Quite light, right? The printer supports Near Field Communication (NFC) and Bluetooth, allowing you to send your photos from your gadgets to the printer very swiftly.
The best part about the LG Pocket Photo Printer is that it comes with an app called Pocket Photo that enables users to connect their Android or iOS gadgets to the printer, perform touch-ups and add filters to the photos, and print them immediately. Printing photos has never been this fun and easy!
For more information about the LG Pocket Photo Printer, visit the LG Electronics PH page.
I made a weird story about a kitty and a piggy. It’s part of this tiny project that I’m working on! Hope y’all like the oddness of it.
Something I wrote down for the month of Philippine’s national language:
Minsan tayo’y naglakad sa isang daan. Madaming tao, malubak, at madaming bagay na nakakaabala. Inisip ko, ano bang lugar to? Gusto lang naman kita dalhin sa isa sa mga paborito kong puntahan – kung saan tayo unang nagkita. Di ko inakalang madami nang nagbago papunta roon. Nakita mo ang mukha ko na parang hindi sigurado, na para bang naliligaw.
Hinawakan mo ang aking kamay ng mahigpit. Tinanong mo kung saan ko gusto pumunta, dahil kahit saan ako patungo ay dun rin ang punta mo. Sasabay ka sa mga yapak ko. Kahit saan, kahit kailan. Kahit malubak ang daan. Kahit hindi kanais nais ang pupuntahan.
Sa mga sandaling iyon, naramdaman ko ang kakaibang katahimikan ng aking puso. Ngayon ko lang nadama na sa haba ng hinintay kong panahon, ikaw ay akin, at akin lamang – walang kahati, walang kaagaw. Naramdaman ko na handa ka nang ibigay sa akin ang sarili mo ng buong buo.
Siguro nga at may nagawa akong tama kahit papano. Kaya heto, at nandito tayong dalawa. Magkahawak kamay at magkasama, na tila hindi na mangyari na bumitaw pa sa isa’t isa. Wala na akong hihilingin pang iba. Sa wakas, ikaw naman ang nagpadama sa akin ng saya. Hiniling ko na sana, ang mga sandaling iyon ay hindi na magwakas. Tumingin ako sa iyo at nakita ko ang iyong nakangiting mga mata.
At bigla akong nagising. Mag-isa, aking kama. Nagising nanaman ako sa katotohanan.
Not literally, though.
Two years ago, we received a tiny bundle of joy that came with four legs. We got a tiny Pomeranian furball pup, and it came to us as a surprise. I sneaked her inside the house one night, and the rest is history. Now, I have been dethroned as our family’s princess by a furniture-gnawing pup named Potato.
Potato at 4 months
Yup, we named her after a vegetable that can be mashed.
I originally wanted to name her Soup (because I had hipster tendencies then) but then my mom protested, and she thought Pepper was more suitable since she had pepper-colored fur. So during our name-calling run, we tried calling her Pepper to see if she’s going to respond to it immediately.
Mom (to yaya): Pangalan niyan Pepper. Kunin mo na siya, pakainin na natin.
Yaya: Pee-per! Pee-per!
Mom: Ay, panget pala pag tinawag siya ng yaya. Wag na Pepper!
Chaka daw ang Pepper, so we had to go with another name. A friend suggested Potato, and it got stuck in our heads since then.
Potato is currently our family’s pride and joy, our lives’ main source of entertainment, and my enemy in bed. Well, in most things. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to bits! I cried when she got confined in the pet hospital. Although sometimes she annoys the hell out of me. She dethroned me from my royal chair, so I have the right to be annoyed, right? J Plus I swear, she’s such a brat. A spoiled brat with shiny fur!
One time, I was in bed sleeping and Potato was just lazing around on the floor. My mom went inside my room to tell me she’s out going shopping. As she was about to leave, she told me to take care of Potato.
Mom: Alis ako.
Mom: Hoy alagaan mo yang kapatid mo! Aliwin mo yan! Alam mo naman yan madali madepress kaya kelangan matuwa siya! Laruin mo siya!
Potato = 1. Me = 0
Me: Ang hirap matulog kagabi!! Tinapakan ako ni Potato sa tummy! Tapos nihigaan pa ako sa mukha! Sa ulo! Tapos nihila comforter ko.
Mom: Hayaan mo na yung baby natin.
Huhuhuhu. Potato = 2. Me = 0
Mom (to dad): Naghihintay ang baby ko! Himayan mo siya ng food.
Dad (while chopping up food for Potato): Kamahalan, eto na po ang pagkain ninyo!
Potato = 3. Dad = 0
Mom: Wag mong pagurin si Potato! Pag aakyat siya sa stairs, bitbitin mo siya.
(Mind you, Potato is considered obese, so she weighs like a half sack of rice. For a Pomeranian, she’s hella fat.)
Potato = 4. Me = 0
Potato was nudging me to give her a head massage. I wasn’t minding her because I was busy texting someone. So she howled for attention.
Mom: Hoy ano ka ba, massage mo siya!
Me: Eeeh nagtetext ako! Wait lang!
Mom: Haynako yang ka-text mo makakahintay. Yung baby ko hindi!
Me: Fine. (gives Potato a massage)
Potato = 5. Me = 0
Even if she’s so bratty, I can’t resist her anyway. She knows how to do the “puppy eyes” especially when she’s begging for something. She also knows how to communicate with us when she wants to do something. Bright dog, right?
How can you resist this face???
She’s also a very very sweet pup. She never forgets to give me a kiss every morning, and she loves cuddling. She’s very expressive about her love for us, so we really don’t mind her princess attitude.
I love her, and she’s my favorite vegetable!
Admit it, we all have this tiny voice inside us that tells us to do crazy poses and signs once someone brings out a camera. Whether the photographer calls out a “WACKY!!” shot or not, we’re all guilty of delivering the best and most intense poses. Sometimes we even take it to the next level and bring out the guns – the jeje poses.
Ginagawa niyo yan, aminin niyo!
So I came up with 5 Jeje poses that everyone needs to know… and do from time to time.
STUDIO PIC POSE
Also known as the Nilalagnat-Ka-Ba pose, this has been around since the studio pic stores (is that what you call them?) ages. I think the Studio Pic pose is the mother of all jeje poses. People have been doing them even before the word ‘jeje’ was born! It has the perfect combination of pa-cute and annoying, but some people just love doing it. C’mon, I’m pretty sure that you’ve done this at some point in your life – like when you and your high school barkada would go to the studio and have shots taken. I bet my life savings that you did this… or maybe the photographer asked you to!
I don’t remember how this pose started, but I thought it used to be cute until Justin Bieber kept on doing it and someone posted a photo of it online like this…
ANAK NG TOKWA NAKAKAINIS DIBA. SARAP SIRAIN NG SCREEN.
Yeah, you heard that right! It’s GANG-STAAAH! We all gon’ go HAM tonight with them bitchez and blings, flashy cars and thangs…
But seriously. Although this pose might seem lame, you need extra effort to execute it well. And damn right you gotta make it look whack!
Here’s a short checklist that could help you achieve the Gangstah Pose:
Swag wear – CHECK.
Durags/Hankies on your face/head – CHECK.
Gangster signs – CHECK.
Jay-Z & Kanye West attitude – DOUBLE CHECK.
P.S. To the Bloodz, Kryptz, and KKK, please DO NOT kill us. We mean no harm, bros.
Finally, a pose that has history despite it being jeje! The Hang Loose pose, or the Shaka sign, is a pose associated with the surfer culture. Meant to be as a salutation of friendship among surfers, you will often see surfer dudes and chicks using this sign in photos with their surfboards by the shore. Astig diba?
NOT WHEN YOU START USING IT THE WRONG WAY!
A lot of people do the Hang Loose in really awkward places:
in the car.
sa bathroom selfies.
and so much more!
Sige nga, saan dun sa mga lugar na yun ang may waves at present ang surfer culture? SAAN???
And last but not the least…
ULTIMATE JEJE POSE
Once you do this, there’s no turning back! I really can’t pinpoint how this pose came about, but after doing some internet research I can clearly state that this is the most hardcore jeje pose. If you don’t believe me, try doing the pose yourself and see how jeje you’ll feel after. I kid you not!
I want to thank Marianne of notyourordinarybeautyqueen.com for being down and all jeje with me!
If you have more jeje poses, please share them with me!
A bonus jeje pose for all the jeje pose-lovers out there:
I made a tiny story during my free time today. Don’t ask about the inspiration for this story, just read.